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منتدى المغرب و المغاربة حول العالم

i posted this in the french forum but no info yet , this is a little urgent :

my friend lives in holand she is married 3 years and a month now to a dutch man in the last year he became very abusif he hit her many times , yesterday she told him she wants to get a driving licence she needs a car to go to work so she needs to save some money from her salary and he started a big argument , she gives him half of her salary he is an ass hole with a big mouth, always taking her money , anyway yesterday he hit her and pushed her against the wall , she phoned this morning crying and told me all about it she doesn t know what to do :
her questions ;
she is been married 3 years and 1 month last month she did apply for dutch nationalite , her husband is making her beleive that without him she won t get nationalite , she passed the exam of nationalite and he went and applied for her, and he is using this subject against her he is telling her he will divorce now and she get naionalite ????, she is asking: is it true to get nationalite she needs to be maried to him?or she can get it on her own because she passed the exam and stayed 3 years ?
he hit gainst the wal and her head is swollen i told her to go to the doctor amay be it is an internal bleeding she is worried the dctor will call the police ? and she is worried she will lose her papers and found herself without nothing ?she spent these last 3 years learning th language and working and she passed the exam successfully of the nationalite but still he tells her she is in a weak situation and it s up o him to get her the nationalite or not and it is in his power if he divorce that she end up without papers? is this correct or is he just bullshiting her?
is there a women organisation there which could help her ?
he even went to his doctor and he is trying to portray her as one wih some mental problems he asked her doctor to prescribe stress pill for her eben she is not sufering from anything , he hit her so many times then he denies it and say it her the violant one ? he broke a house window and took a photo of it and says thats a preuve agains t her she is the one who broke it , he is the violant one and he lies and hide the truth and plays with her mind?
she really needs the answer for this question : is it necessary to be married to him to get nationalite which she applied for last month? she wants to move out before she get killed one day? but she doesn t now her legal situation and he always singing this to her : she is nothing without him and just with one phone cal from him he could stop her application for nationalite ???


thank you

Hi,
I am not qualified in Dutch law to answer your friend’s questions but let me tell you this: nothing is the world is worth the hell she seems to be living in and the devastation she is causing to her life. She has clearly gotten married out of love and for the sole purpose of getting citizenship which is a great pity but anyway this is no time for blame, what’s done is done but what remains to do is more important for her to get safe from this awful situation. Your friend lives with a dangerous man, a psycho with a clearly disturbed mind who is using her vulnerable situation to satisfy his sadistic and appalling impulses. I can’t believe she hasn’t gone to the police yet, let alone a doctor to check her bruises!! This is atrocious and you should be the first one to tell her to get out of there. I know you want to help her and are thinking of the best of her interest, but believe me, her interest right now is not be beaten to death by this animal who doesn’t seem to have any limits and who clearly can do anything to prevent her from reaching her goal. To hell with citizenship, what use would it have if she is left invalid for the rest of her life? If she’s legal and has a job, then why is she impatient? She can apply for citizenship after few years and who knows, she might even meet someone good who really cares for her and who would help her. I hope you will seriously think of this and advise your friend accordingly. Good luck.

miniemouse, this idiot was a charming prince before mariage , he became muslim and he was treating her like a queen in Morocco but once she is in Holland he changed and his real face showed up, he is treating her badly and applogising everytime he bit her up , the maraige wasn t based about papers at all it was a normal relationship but you never know people until you live with them
you can t imagine my advices for her but her but she feels weak , lonely and scared,
he is telling her get out of my house it is my house you don t have nothing even the papers i can take them away from you???
about the nationality : she studied for it for three years and struggled to pass the exam for naturalisation and she doesn t want to loose all that efforts , she is hoping in the future to join a university and having the nationality dutch will simplify this dream she has anyway she feels lost and that the law is in his side
she made the application for naturalisation just last month and being married he explained to her she could get it in 7 months , she doesn t know if she lives now will that mean her application will be influenced?, i did tel her thats not important but she really wanted this dutch passport for her future jobs and studies etc she told me holland is a avery racist country and they treat foreigners diferently than people with nationality she is trying to have some rights like everybody else
i told the law is not him he can go to hel and sh nned to get the police on his case and make lose his job , i try to ecourage her but everytime she is talking about this application she made last month ad how he is treathening her to ruin it for her because he knows thats an important thing for her
i just want to know if applying for narionality has anything to do with being married or divorced or it is a separate matter? at the moment he made her beleive , divorce or complaint against him means her application will be rejected????

Hi there,
I don't know much about the deutch law but in america she would have no problem getting her paper once you passe the test you are fine, all she has to do now is take some pictures of her physical appearence, no matter what he says to the autority those are real evidence and no western culture tolerate physical abuse... thats a big NO NO.
I am pretty sure if she checked on the net she will find some women shulters that could help her out and how about a moroccan community? is there a such things like that there? can she go to a mosque or somewhere? somebody would advise her what to do, over all we are a great citizen when it comes to things like that...nobody want to see bintbladou beat up like that.
My heart goes to her, i will keep her in my prayers....Good luck to her.

hi warda,
first of all the story of your friend made me so angry, i imagined her situation and felt sorry for her , i have read your post earlier , i have no idea about the dutch law ,after reading this i phoned the dutch embassy and hav spoken to some guy ther told him the story and he explained to me the law there
good news for your friend you need to tel her the following: she stayed there 3 years so even if she get devorced this doesn change nothing , she has her carte de sejour , which renewable every yearafter 3 years they send a permanant one the fact she is married or divorced doesn t change anything ok thats clear
the nationality subject : there are few option : to do an application form after 3 years while she is maried , if she is divorce she could do the application for that after an other year (4 years )
so 3 years for married to a dutch , 4 years to a divorced , 5 years for other cases such as refugee
so good news for her she doesn t need him to get the nationality , she did well by passing the exam she need to wait one year an aply for nationality on her own , he is useless idiot
my advice she need to tell people with her at work , go to the doctor to check her body and the bruises , then phone the police , the police will react immediately by finding her a secure accommodation and they will give him a warning to stay away from her within few miles , if he harassed her they will lock him up
donc your friend is in a very strong situation , he plays with her mind making her feel wea but in fact the law is by her side , she need to move out as soon as possible and not put up with a mental psycho like him , the police will provide her with the protection , her papers are secures , in holland the 3 years period is crucial once finished that s it mariage is not important for nationality she could get it on her own , she need to go to the local authority and fill an application with a copy of the exam she passed and send it that s it , i am 100% of this information please passon to her these information ad tel het not to stay there , she needs to move out and make him regret the abuse and the violance he put her through
hope this will help
if you need any other help please do not hesitate to send me PM i have friends in Holland if she needs anything .

thank you my friends for your advices
rosette i do appreciate these informations you ve been very helpful millions thanks
i sent you a private message thanks again

Salamu alaikum, warda

I'm from Holland..I have to be honoust that I dont know exactly how many years you hav to be here to get your papers. I thought 5 years, but I will ask someone, inshaAllah later. I'm so sorry she is in this situation.

But I can give you an organisation where she can get help..Does she speak arabic, because I hav a website where she can read it in Arabic.
I can give u this one already: [www.vrouwenopvang-ams.nl]. Its also in arabic. she can also call:
The phonenumerteunpunt Huiselijk Geweld Amsterdam
020 611 60 22
But also: where does she live? Because there are a lot of places. And the advice for her (IF she wants to leave her husband) is to get as far away from him as possible. And I think its a good idea to make pictures of her wounds as evidence. I think that she can stay here, because she has learned a lot, but dont know for sure, i'll ask, insh.
boessia

thank you khti boessia you are very helpful

boessia she lives in a town called: venlo

Is she determined to leave her husband?

If so, I think Amsterdam is a good place for her to shelter there. She will have to call to the number I gave. I think there has to be someone who speaks arabic.

But I have to say: I still don't know how many years someone has to be here to get papers.Must ask someone.. And if there's an exeption like this, if they can speed it up.

But: has she applied for the dutch nationality and did they give her permission?
slm alkm, boessia

contactnumber amsterdam : T 020 521 01 50

boessia , thank you my friend
i phoned her this morning and we had along chat about this probleme :
she is a very intelligent , well educated young lady but she was unlucky to marry this violant animal
her situation now , she applied for citizenship last month and that needs 7 months to be processed but this week her life became unbearable after he has been violant so he is saying he is going to start divorce this week
she is working and i told her she need to move out and let the divorce start and she need to expose his abuse and violance against her
she hasn t got saving or much money now but i offered her to transffer some money by western union to help if she needs to get a small place for her until she gets paid , he told her he is going to ruin her application for citizenship he is going to phone them and tell them about the divorce .....
i told her : dont give a shit about his big words and just to get her own place and forget about him , she is working and she can support herself specially the salary now will be hers before he takes most of her salary so i think she is in the right path
her papers she has her carte de sejour and i explained to her what rosette wrote even if he try to ruin her application for citizenship , she could apply for it later on her own , she just need to get rid of him and start a new life , she told the people with her at work and i told her she is not weak , but strong she is there over 3 years so she has the right and he hasn t got any power over her he better go the some psychiatrique place ad leave her alone and if he annoyed her to call the police immediately .

al ahmdoulillah she is not illiterate, because that makes it very hard. I think she's a very strong woman, alhamdoulillah. But it could be that they can make an exeption for her (about the citizenship), because she works, speaks the language and does her best here. I asked some people, but they also don't know exactly. I still have to look better for that.

I also agree that she has to go away. Allah swt is with her. As you said, this man is an animal. He has a lot of problems with himself. Dont let him get through her. He's scaring her. About the divorce. You're right. She needs to show everything he did to her. I think its important to make pictures of her bruses.

Let me know, inshaAllah..

Boessia

wardamaroc30

sorry to hear about your friend & A BIG THANK YOU to everyone that is helping ,very positive to see all this people pulling together to assisst a fellow Moroccan

It breaks my heart to hear an intelegent lady getting abused by an animal but to fact that he is a foreigner it a typical mistake other ladies did i had a friend who was charmed by an old bastard in Morocco ( but here we need to remind us the image an europena has in Morocco all +) he married her did the converting thing as a cinema & got her over here & started taking her to his local & took the piss in front of his mate ....even worst he treated his dog better than her ..............he kicked her out one night in winter & iy was snowing outside ........other things are not good to publish in a forum like this ......................................
But the lesson we need to remind our boys & girls that Animals come in all shape & forms & nationalities & they need to realise that presuming all european are civilased is not true .

hi everybody,
warda i feel strongly about your friend story , when i hear any form of violance against women it angers me unfortunately it exists worldwide and only laws and women could change this sad reality
that s good news she works : work means independance , dignite and strength
in my opinion a man who hit a woman should not be classified as man but a looser who tries to prove he is stronger and powerful but in fact he is weak , a disgrace to human race.
i remember an old woman from the countryside said : mariage is like a melon when you open it it is just luck
sometimes it is sweet , ripe and eatable , sometimes it is horrible and you just throw it away
i am sure this experience will make her stronger in the future , she should be intelligent with this savage animal it is better to have a good brain than muscles , first she needs to move out then everything will be ok the law is by her side she is the victim here and he is the criminal who deserve to be isolated from society and thrown in a cell to roth and regret his sins .