"Cash, cheque or credit card?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.
WIFE VS HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
STUPID AND BEAUTIFUL
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. The wife responded," Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
COFFEE
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says...."HEBREWS"
"Cash, cheque or credit card?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
La vengeance d’une femme
“Especes, cheque ou carte de credit?” ai-je demandé, après avoir emballé les achats de la dame. Pendant qu’elle fouillait dans son sac a main a la recherche de son portefeuille, j’ai remarqué qu’elle avait une telecommande de TV. “Vous portez toujours une telecommande de TV avec vous ?” lui demandais-je. “Non, mais mon mari a refusé de venir faire du shopping avec moi, et je me suis dit que ce serait la chose la plus basse que je pourrais lui faire pour me venger”.
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
Comprendre les femmes (point de vue d’un homme)
Je sais que je ne comprenfdrais jamais les femmes. Je ne comprendras jamais comment vous pouvez prendre de la cire bouillante, la verser sur vos cuisses, arracher les poils jusqu’aux racines, et encore avoir peur des araignées.
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.
Cigarettes et tampons
Un homme entre dans une pharmacie et erre dans les rayons. Une employee le remarque et lui demande si elle peut l’aider. Il repond qu’il est a la recherche d’une boite de tampons pour sa femme. Elle lui indique ou ils se trouvent. Quelques minutes plus tard, il depose sur le comptoir un immense paquet de coton et une pelote de fil. L’employée lui demande, toute confuse “ Monsieur, je pensais que vous recherchiez des tampons pour votre femme?” “Voyez-vous, lui repond-il, hier, j’ai demandé a ma femme de m’acheter un paquet de cigarettes, et elle revient avec un sachet de tabac et du papier a rouler… parce que c’est beaucoup moins cher…… Je me suis dit qu’il fallait donc que je les roule moi meme… elle aussi !!