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Relation Marocaine - Quebecois
s
3 September 2006 23:53
I know that this subject has already been discussed but I m so confused and frustrated and I need your opinion concerning my situation. I have been living in Quebec for so long about 15 yrs I never ever dated a non Muslim man before during my entire life, but every time I get to know a Moroccan Muslim I get disappointed that now I don’t want to know them anyone. Lately I find myself falling in love with my coworker Christian Quebecois I have never been treated with so much love and respect the way he treats me we have been hanging out of work together and feelings have been developed from both parts I m not sure if what I m doing is right or wrong anymore all I know is that when I m with him I feel happy and safe --- should I follow my heart and enjoy the feeling of being in love or should I use my brain and put an end to it.
PS: my family don’t know anything about it and as every traditional Moroccan family it will be very hard for them to accept this kind of relationship.
I need you opinion please.
Thanks in advance.
m
4 September 2006 00:06
OK I DON't know if what i say it's correct in inglish but i want to say to you that you can speak with him about religion in order to know if he want to know islam and been converted
what do you think about that?
have you ever tryed to?
excuse my bad english
4 September 2006 00:09
Hi

First, sorry for my english that is no terrible Grinning smiley There was many years that I don(t pratice it...
I thinky we can't give you a anwser to find a solution to your problem. Before continuing your relationship, I think you have to think a lot about what you'll win in this story (maybe shorty) and lose.
Cause, in one side, you win love, a man that care of you and in one other side, you lose your family that I guess will be surely aigainst this relation, cause your friend is not a muslim, and then you could lose your way sharing a life with a man that doesn't believe in God or have a different religion of you.

I know you're a smart and wise woman, and you will find, I hope, a solution, and no why meet another man as you, to share many thinks and a long life Winking smiley

Good luck and care of you

God bless you


Friendly


Môh Tsu
s
4 September 2006 00:17
Quote
malikabb
OK I DON't know if what i say it's correct in inglish but i want to say to you that you can speak with him about religion in order to know if he want to know islam and been converted
what do you think about that?
have you ever tryed to?
excuse my bad english

No we dont talk about it we agreed to respect our diffirences and not to impose anything on each other meaning he is not going to push it when it comes to his religion and his tradition and i wont either, last night he told me he will do Ramadan this year with me but he made it clear that it doesnt mean that he is converting he just want to share things with me the same way i have to share and celebrate chritmas with him.
u can write in french i do understand french very well Smiling Smiley
S
4 September 2006 04:38
Hi sweet girl, I am a moroccan as well living in montreal, so what I am going to start with,

first of: do not generalize abot moroccan guys, we are not like that, I admit that some of our compatriotes are scumbags (sorry for the bad word) ans some of them are wonderful, 98% of my friends are moroccans and I do not see myself hanging out with non moroccans buddies. It is not racisme but it s like that. I know french people that are very good persons and I know some of them thant want me wanna throw up.


Concerning your relationship with you date or call whaterver you wish, I would say that your relationship is a bit dangerous because you re now building some kind of strong feeling toward him so anytime soon both you are going to mettre les points sur les i. the problem with us, moroccans, arabs, musulmis whatsoever is that we are generally from very united families. So we you marry someone, your family has to like this person otherwise it s bullshit. For example, let say that your family never accepts this guy in your family and you become very attached to him, what will you do, keep crying nights and days?? Besides, moroccans are very traditinal, and religous, will this guys accept to convert for the sake of Allah?? would accept our traditions etc..... , will your parents accept him, will your kids speak arabic, will they be muslims and so on so forth


so my biggest advice to you sweeheart is the following, talk to your guys about serious matters, religion, mariage, kids ,etc... and stop chit chatting, do not loose your time, your relationship is for now Haram, illegal, sinful because as you may know, Islam fordids dating even though you guys are not doing things , but one thing leads to another, if He seems intersted by your religon, tradition etc.... then talk to your mom, and beg Allah to make things easy for you.

ciao
le crime ne paye pas, mais il occupe
m
4 September 2006 16:27
oui donc en français c'est mieux lol
evidemment il ne faut rien lui imposer mais tu peux lui faire découvrir la religion musulmane tu crois pas?
s
4 September 2006 19:43
Quote
Soprano
Hi sweet girl, I am a moroccan as well living in montreal, so what I am going to start with,

first of: do not generalize abot moroccan guys, we are not like that, I admit that some of our compatriotes are scumbags (sorry for the bad word) ans some of them are wonderful, 98% of my friends are moroccans and I do not see myself hanging out with non moroccans buddies. It is not racisme but it s like that. I know french people that are very good persons and I know some of them thant want me wanna throw up.


Concerning your relationship with you date or call whaterver you wish, I would say that your relationship is a bit dangerous because you re now building some kind of strong feeling toward him so anytime soon both you are going to mettre les points sur les i. the problem with us, moroccans, arabs, musulmis whatsoever is that we are generally from very united families. So we you marry someone, your family has to like this person otherwise it s bullshit. For example, let say that your family never accepts this guy in your family and you become very attached to him, what will you do, keep crying nights and days?? Besides, moroccans are very traditinal, and religous, will this guys accept to convert for the sake of Allah?? would accept our traditions etc..... , will your parents accept him, will your kids speak arabic, will they be muslims and so on so forth


so my biggest advice to you sweeheart is the following, talk to your guys about serious matters, religion, mariage, kids ,etc... and stop chit chatting, do not loose your time, your relationship is for now Haram, illegal, sinful because as you may know, Islam fordids dating even though you guys are not doing things , but one thing leads to another, if He seems intersted by your religon, tradition etc.... then talk to your mom, and beg Allah to make things easy for you.

ciao

Soprano,
Thanks for your opinion i did not generalize when it comes to moroccans and remember dear i m 100% moroccan too it just happened that those i have met are not the kind you would be thrilled to be around unfortunitly.
I totally agree with you concerning what you said ... i m not sure how my family would take it sometimes i say they will accept it and move on but the only thing that scared me here is the fact that u know how Quebecors are they dont get married right away they like to take their time (concubinage) and this is what will make it hard for my family to accept and i find it hard to accept myself who is used to the north american life style i dont want to know how my family will look at it. anyways lah idir li fiha elkhir as we say. sometimes i wish if things were different but they are not i have to live with what i have and i have to accept things the way they are, it is hard but i dont think i have much of an option at least for now, but this man really means alot to me he brought out feelings inside of my heart that no one was able to do before, i dont know i m scared and confused.
b
7 September 2006 07:52
we have to speak religiously,Dating is haram and maryying a no-muslim is haram for a muslim women and is not welcome for a muslim man to.
culturally speaking,as you are adult and responsible you can do what you want to do .
here is my point of view:as muslims and mowaheds,we have to worships only allah ,hence any association is forbidden.great association is no more since the revelation of Sidna mohammed(saws) but some little association reminds such as following desires and pleasures of life.
In your context,Sister in Allah ,you have to choice between your God and your boyfriend because it's incompatible to satisfay both of them.
You are moroccan and this people even there isn't a high religiosity in morocco such saudi arabia or iran but the moroccans are practicing even some of them are open to receive western influence .Thus,i m sure that you will have to much internal conflicts with yourself and by the way ,your thread is the emanation of your anxiety.
first,let's discuss and try to be reasonable:What this relation offers to you?
Good feelings??? you can't be sure 100% because only Allah khnows the deep reality of a man.
concubinge? how the prize is cheap for a huge sacrifice.
what you will lose ? the religion and family
for the religion ,it's more spiritual and though is the most important but for some people is little symbolic but the family ,don't say that you can go away from them.i m a man and i live in west ,though i can't take a mtriomonial decision without family consentment.
I m not a narrow minded person but i didn't like antagonism .You must khnow that unlike animals we are not only male and female ,we are also the best creatures in this world and we a responsabilty before who create us.
of course,if you see yoursel just as a female than you need only a male but if you see yourself as something more than it's another story.
In the end,we human are all sinful except holy prophetes but as muslims we look to Allah that he brings us to the right path but if Allah is no more in our hearts who will help us.
some people told that even non believers are sometimes cool and niece persons .okay,we all are nice in the way that we have good aspects but i didn't think that a non believer could be a gentelmen for the only reason that he is not gratifiant to his lord.
Allah is just,so he loves the people and i m sure that he loves you and certainly ,he will sent a good match for you and this time,he would niece,with good feelings to you and above all,with good feelings also with his creator.
with my respects and wiching you all the best.
c
9 September 2006 12:37
If you are muslim you don't have right to marry a non muslim.

If you lost your musulmanity, the first think to do is trying to get it!!!

The question is not how your family will be see your act but how allah judge your act!!!


Quote
sweet_angel_74
I know that this subject has already been discussed but I m so confused and frustrated and I need your opinion concerning my situation. I have been living in Quebec for so long about 15 yrs I never ever dated a non Muslim man before during my entire life, but every time I get to know a Moroccan Muslim I get disappointed that now I don’t want to know them anyone. Lately I find myself falling in love with my coworker Christian Quebecois I have never been treated with so much love and respect the way he treats me we have been hanging out of work together and feelings have been developed from both parts I m not sure if what I m doing is right or wrong anymore all I know is that when I m with him I feel happy and safe --- should I follow my heart and enjoy the feeling of being in love or should I use my brain and put an end to it.
PS: my family don’t know anything about it and as every traditional Moroccan family it will be very hard for them to accept this kind of relationship.
I need you opinion please.
Thanks in advance.
c
9 September 2006 13:06
Quote

col_asu

If you are muslim you don't have right to marry a non muslim.

If you lost your musulmanity, the first think to do is trying to get it!!!
The question is not how your family will be see your act but how allah judge your act!!!

You must be fun to dateSmiling Smiley
s
9 September 2006 16:21
I m a muslim and i did not loose my faith in ALLAH i lost faith in other muslims and that's a huge difference if you read my subject carfully i have been away for 15 yrs and never looked at a non muslim man before it is the disappointement i got from them that made me more attracted to this man .... i m not worried that much about my family i m an independant person and no one has to tell me what to do ... this is what i dont like being judged just as you are doing .... i asked for advice not for judgement. Dont judge me you dont know me and u dont know how my life is .... u dont know how it is to be living alone for so many years just to satisfy others but no one has ever made a single small effort to satisfy, love and respect me.

Quote
col_asu
If you are muslim you don't have right to marry a non muslim.

If you lost your musulmanity, the first think to do is trying to get it!!!

The question is not how your family will be see your act but how allah judge your act!!!


Quote
sweet_angel_74
I know that this subject has already been discussed but I m so confused and frustrated and I need your opinion concerning my situation. I have been living in Quebec for so long about 15 yrs I never ever dated a non Muslim man before during my entire life, but every time I get to know a Moroccan Muslim I get disappointed that now I don’t want to know them anyone. Lately I find myself falling in love with my coworker Christian Quebecois I have never been treated with so much love and respect the way he treats me we have been hanging out of work together and feelings have been developed from both parts I m not sure if what I m doing is right or wrong anymore all I know is that when I m with him I feel happy and safe --- should I follow my heart and enjoy the feeling of being in love or should I use my brain and put an end to it.
PS: my family don’t know anything about it and as every traditional Moroccan family it will be very hard for them to accept this kind of relationship.
I need you opinion please.
Thanks in advance.
D
11 September 2006 01:33
May I give you an advice, I have lived in Montreal for Many years and I have decides to push away any opportunity to build a relationship with a non moroccan woman because of all the religious and culture related reasons then I came back to Morocco only to find out that things are not as easy nor straight forward as they seem, very few moroccans now take religion into account the society has become deeeply influenced by the western and american Lifestyle, so my advice to you is this, a serious relationship involves much more that feelings and love, in many aspects it becomes so much like a business partnership and you have to keep in mind that marrying a non muslim who has no intentions to covnert may have some deep influences on your future and the one of your children, so try to work things out because all in all if you love someone with whom you decided to spend the rest of your life with you should make sacrifices and take responsibilities, I do not know your soul mate and therefore cannot draw conslusions but try to talk things through and work hard for what matters to you the most, you are the only one responsible for such decision and do not let anyone speak your terms, it's your life sister.

conclusion, you have to work hard to make things happen and do not start your life with IFs (IF = Instant failure).

Allah yssehel 3lik, if you feel you wanna have someone to talk to without prejudice please feel free.

Assalamou alikoum
s
11 September 2006 02:08
Quote
Driss1
May I give you an advice, I have lived in Montreal for Many years and I have decides to push away any opportunity to build a relationship with a non moroccan woman because of all the religious and culture related reasons then I came back to Morocco only to find out that things are not as easy nor straight forward as they seem, very few moroccans now take religion into account the society has become deeeply influenced by the western and american Lifestyle, so my advice to you is this, a serious relationship involves much more that feelings and love, in many aspects it becomes so much like a business partnership and you have to keep in mind that marrying a non muslim who has no intentions to covnert may have some deep influences on your future and the one of your children, so try to work things out because all in all if you love someone with whom you decided to spend the rest of your life with you should make sacrifices and take responsibilities, I do not know your soul mate and therefore cannot draw conslusions but try to talk things through and work hard for what matters to you the most, you are the only one responsible for such decision and do not let anyone speak your terms, it's your life sister.

conclusion, you have to work hard to make things happen and do not start your life with IFs (IF = Instant failure).

Allah yssehel 3lik, if you feel you wanna have someone to talk to without prejudice please feel free.

Assalamou alikoum

Thanks Driss
this is the kind of advice i wanted to hear not someone telling me that i lost my faith. I know it is hard to make a decision and we have not gotten to that point of marriage u know how quebecors are it will take forever before we get to that point Smiling Smiley but i m trying to cut back from seeing him outside of work so i guess i m making the first step towards something i m not sure i want to do, if you know what i mean. i m trying to stop seeing him outside of work but i can tell you this much it sure is not a piece of cake to see how sad he looked Friday when i refused to go out with him under the pretext that i m tired and i want to go home get some rest ... he knows that i was just trying to push him away and it brook my heart to see him that way and to see the sad look on his face as i was walking away. so we will see how strong i m going to be.
Thanks one more time for the advice.
S
11 September 2006 08:01
Salam sister sweetangel, I hope you're doing fine, in a previous post you've said that you re now indepedant and no one has the right to tell what to do, does it mean that your parents advices are piece of garbage that since you're now indepedant you are now like a QUÉBECOISE j'ai 18 ans pi j'fais ce que j veux, c'mon sister . Again I'ain't judging you. As I previsouly told you if you really like this man, and that you feel that he likes you, you should talk to him on the spot about future and stop with this Haram dating. If his interested in Islam, if your kids will be muslims with moslem name, and so on you should go for it, before prior to that, you parents have to be OK, because as you may know, Blessing for the parents is priceless, do not commit the mistake of sacrifing your parents for a guy, a marriage without blessing might be a very bad expression (Lay 7fed).

check you mail box ............
le crime ne paye pas, mais il occupe
n
11 September 2006 10:41
salam all
by reading driss comment and sweet_angel_74 i think you are looking fot the same thing and you have same principal why not contact each other and see what can bring, it worth a try and good luck
s
12 September 2006 06:02
Quote
nassim9999
salam all
by reading driss comment and sweet_angel_74 i think you are looking fot the same thing and you have same principal why not contact each other and see what can bring, it worth a try and good luck

thanks for the suggestion dear i Guess Driss and myself just happened to taste and see what some others dont
c
16 September 2006 18:06
hello . iread ur msg in yabiladi.com and i was really fasinated with the way you are describing how glad and happy u are with him.as if u are saying indirectely that u love hom too much and trying to tell us that it's unfair for u to advise u to break this relationship.it's a great feeling that is not repeated everytime.it's a chance to fall in love and i advise u ;do not try to be miss conducted with other peaole's ideas.all i can tell u is to follow ur heart and everything will be ok.your new friend; toufik26+ years old from morocco
a
16 September 2006 19:46
I know is not easy to live alone fare away from the familly, you have to make your own decision..etc.

life has never been easy and you should know is not easy for none of us. is just the way we deal with it.

i had never been with moroccan girls, was maried and always dated danish ...until the time i meet a Moroccan girl she blows my brain, she was all i was looking for. i married her straight away.

I tell you there a big difference between her and any girl i have beeen with.

you are in stage of loosing hope in Moroccan/ muslim .. listen dont let the age force you to make bad choices.

there is a saying "everything has its time" dont rush ..

PS: may be Driss is kind a guy that will make you happy. I support very much Nassimm9999´s idea. you can give it a try ..you both lives in the same country.
Aziz_dk
D
16 September 2006 22:37
Thank you guys for the advice about me and sweet_angel getting together but I think you are just missing the point here, the girl HAS actuially someone in her life and want some advice not how to break up with him but to keep head above water...



Peace
f
18 September 2006 00:50
aziz_dk response is very well phrased in my opinion.

I do agree that life is not easy for all us in lghorba trying to find a soulmate. However, I would like to add that life is more forgiving for guys than women. i.e. a divorced guy has a better reputation in our society. So he can afford to experience other cultures if he wants. this not the case for women. However, many of us face many roadblocks in our quest for happiness.

Therefore, I think everyone should do what makes them happy and forget what others think. In 50 years, If they see themselves happy sharing their life with an animal, then, so be it.

As for me, nothing will make me as happy as when I find a moroccan lady to share the rest of my life with. I will be patient until I find her. And I pray God that the day where I loose faith in moroccan women will never come.

Good luck
m
18 September 2006 17:29
HI!
all muslems are not bad.
islam is very clear and precise in this point, a muslim woman can't marry a christian till he converts to islam and so for men, God says what you can verify by yourself in surat"the cow" N° 221.
if yuo keep to islam you can't do it, you can't marry him,i know it's hard because am speaking out of experience.
if he really loves you, he should be willing to convert to islam and this is the right way.
you can start by talking to him about islam, the right one which have nothing to do with blood and terorism,the one who will lead us to heaven if we follow it.
i wish you good luck in your life with the right and good person
Rien ne résume un homme, pas même ses idées
s
18 September 2006 21:47
Thanks for your advice everyone, but i guess it is over my heart was saying something and my brain was saying the opposite and i choose my brain ... i no longer see him except at work .... but i can tell you this much my heart is broken into a million pieces and all i want to do is to cry ... but i guess it is better this way.
A
18 September 2006 22:33
I hope the next man you meet will treat you like you said this man treated you. From your posts, I can tell that you are intelligent, very smart and well balanced person who knows what she wants. Whatever you do with your life, if you meet a Muslim or even someone from mars, if you so choose, don't be with anyone who would want you to be a wife and a maid at the same time, that's how some psychos fanatics like to see women, don't settle for anything less than equality and respect, don’t buy that crap that some mullah wants you to buy, and finally don’t feel any guilt for knowing this person, you will see, some here are going to try to make you feel that.
The best of luck to you,
Almot
s
19 September 2006 00:09
Quote
Almot
I hope the next man you meet will treat you like you said this man treated you. From your posts, I can tell that you are intelligent, very smart and well balanced person who knows what she wants. Whatever you do with your life, if you meet a Muslim or even someone from mars, if you so choose, don't be with anyone who would want you to be a wife and a maid at the same time, that's how some psychos fanatics like to see women, don't settle for anything less than equality and respect, don’t buy that crap that some mullah wants you to buy, and finally don’t feel any guilt for knowing this person, you will see, some here are going to try to make you feel that.
The best of luck to you,
Almot

Thanks Almot for the nice words i guess i need to hear that Smiling Smiley whenever i see him my heart start beating so fast no other man has ever made me feel this way before I can say it with a loud voice that i really care for him but lah Ghaleb there is no future with him.
thanks one more time
m
19 September 2006 12:36
Hi,
Sure it will take some time to be accustomed to see him without feeling sad, but I think that it's the right decision you took.
It won’t be easy at all because we never forget we just live with, but you should grab to your dignity and your religion.
I hope you will meet the man you deserve and will love each other for the rest of your life (gouli Amine)Winking smiley.
Wish you the best
Rien ne résume un homme, pas même ses idées
 
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