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Morocco # English board

منتدى المغرب و المغاربة حول العالم

one of the topics we evoked in the brainstorming, i think it was Minniemouse who had this brialliant idea

Well let's try to discuss about lonelinss and homesickness .. expartiates can better how it feels when "faces come out of the rain" ...

sorry for those who don"t have the code to get it in ...

Quote
Hicham_A
one of the topics we evoked in the brainstorming, i think it was Minniemouse who had this brialliant idea

Well let's try to discuss about lonelinss and homesickness .. expartiates can better how it feels when "faces come out of the rain" ...

sorry for those who don"t have the code to get it in ...

hello

loneliness......well as i grew up in france, i don't feel alone like people who came to study or left our country at adulthood.

as for homesickness, well i do feel it: with my parents we are used to going to morocco every summer since the day i can remember and we've always spent great time there.

of course, as we.ve grown up things have got different but it's still great, sometimes i think it,s better sometimes i don't.
problems have emerged in family because of "france ": everybody wants to go abroad and as we became eligible to marriage (we are 6 girls in my family) males in family thought we were their perfect halves!!!
these problems make me think sometimes it's worse

however, now that we are adults and independant financially speaking, we can visit our country better and discover places we,ve never dreamt of, and truly that's far for better than going to the same place every summer.I love morocco and the lively feeling you have there: everything's colourful, joyous and i experience a peacefulness there i don,t find back at home in france' maybe it's because it's stressfree, i have nothing to think about but visiting, eating great dishes, having a freshly squeezed orange juice etc...... i love it and i'm eager to go there - in just 5 days inchaallah.wahouuuuu
and what i love as well is the muezzin calling to pray: i love it.

ps: i haven't re-read my text, excuse my errors if there are any.

salam

everyone feels lonely , even those who live in Morocco.
being shy and awkward in social occasions made me isolated, Moroccans need people to be like them, they don't consider the circumstances one's may have ( all his life ) lol

but being lonely isn't the worst that can happens, drugs help lol

Salam

Well AMir

i dont' think drugs is a solution to whatever... it's a means to escape and not face problems of daily life which is worse than feeling lonely .. sorry to disagree with you .. drugs just make things worse.. because what a drug addict needs is his doze and a quite place to roll his spliff quietly... and then 25 years gone ...

there is other ways to fight it, learn a new language, meet interesting people, practice sport, get married, have children .... but for expatriates, i think they will always feel lonely whatever they do ....

Quote
Hicham_A
Well AMir


there is other ways to fight it, learn a new language, meet interesting people, practice sport, get married, have children .... but for expatriates, i think they will always feel lonely whatever they do ....

But we also feel lonely when we go back home as our personalities have evolved, we have changed, whether we like it or not, and home does not feel the same anymore...As much as we miss it while away from it, we feel like strangers once we reach...

Exactly shireen

we go there hoping to find things as we left them but things change logically and evolve and we were not there to see it.. the most frustrating change is the one of friends, they experience new things there as we experience different things here and if there is no contact in the meanwhile we just meet as strangers and it is very sad ... and even when you see that people have not changed and still live as they used to do when we were there - especially when it comes to negative practices and habits typical to the moroccan society - we feel very sad ...anyway all the terms that depict our situation are all also sad : déracinement, expatriate, ghorba, gharib, stranger, étranger ....

Thanks Hisham for your advice, but I mentioned drugs as a temporary solution , we all know how bad they are especially when addicted.

but I don't think ur solutions are effective, because shy people have diffeculties in doing what u said.

Let's just consider loneliness as a blessing to reach our deep soul, and to stay out of problemes with the other.

the only thing i miss about Morocco is the weather , the sunchine , the beautiful light in the morning, the warmth and the colour of the soil , specially in winter i really hate the cold and the continuous rain
moreover i do feel sad and lonely sometimes when i visit Morocco, i feel like a stranger even Morocco is my country , it s a very weird feeling , i feel like i va changed a lot , things i used to accept and consider as normal , part of life in Morocco , i guess i ve seen how other people in other countries so when i return to Moroccco for a few weeks it really breaks my heart, seeing an old person begging in the street , or a little kid shining someone shoes instead of being at school and living his childhood
i feel helpless i want the best for my country yet i dont have the magical steak to change things and this awkward feeling makes me sad and lonely

I think like amir-jad said, that solitude can be a blessing in the way that it allows us to know who we really are and how others perceive us. In the last 6 years, I've gone from enjoying a huge popularity and being part of a wide circle of friends to living in complete isolation and seclusion. I'm going to spare the details here but all i can say is that it was a personal choice. The first years were extremely hard to live, I was on the border of craziness and clinical depression...there were days when i literally didn't have anyone to talk to, I would simply spend the day in total silence, not muttering a word, except perhaps singing to myself in the shower and then slowly, I decided to pull myself through and do something about it. I started to reflect on my world and life in general, for the first time ever, I was able to ruminate on the decisions i took in the past, the people i dealt with, i tought back about situations that have occured to me and which i had handled without much thinking, I asked myself the questions: did i do that right? should i have said this instead of that? and i was horrified to realise i have made so many wrong decisions. I was more horrified that no one at that time told me what to do and i had to find out all this by myself, when i was alone. I thought back about the people i considered as friends and i came to the conclusion that i didn't even understand the meaning of friendship and probably never experienced it..These things hit me as a shock and it was not easy to deal with all this but eventually i managed to accept it, i learned so much about myself, my weaknesses and how much ordinary i was, not at all perfect. Today i feel more or less balanced, I learnt to ask myself the right questions and have a conversation with myself every day before going to bed, I have a soul mate but I still haven't found true frienship but i think i can live without it because i also learnt to enjoy my own company.

Dear Minniemouse,

I was moved my you outburst and could not help coming back to you on that.


quote Minniemouse]I think like amir-jad said, that solitude can be a blessing in the way that it allows us to know who we really are and how others perceive us.

Yes indeed,provided it is a choice and not something imposed on us

In the last 6 years, I've gone from enjoying a huge popularity and being part of a wide circle of friends to living in complete isolation and seclusion. I'm going to spare the details here but all i can say is that it was a personal choice. The first years were extremely hard to live, I was on the border of craziness and clinical depression...there were days when i literally didn't have anyone to talk to, I would simply spend the day in total silence, not muttering a word, except perhaps singing to myself in the shower and then slowly, I decided to pull myself through and do something about it.

Dear Minniemouse, I'm glad you decided to get over it. Total solitude can be dangerous.

I started to reflect on my world and life in general, for the first time ever, I was able to ruminate on the decisions i took in the past, the people i dealt with, i tought back about situations that have occured to me and which i had handled without much thinking, I asked myself the questions: did i do that right? should i have said this instead of that? and i was horrified to realise i have made so many wrong decisions.

We all make wrong choices at some point in life, and continue making mistakes as we grow up. In fact that's what makes us "grow". So please don't be horrified at your own mistakes, we all have our load of them.


I was more horrified that no one at that time told me what to do and i had to find out all this by myself, when i was alone. I thought back about the people i considered as friends and i came to the conclusion that i didn't even understand the meaning of friendship and probably never experienced it..These things hit me as a shock and it was not easy to deal with all this but eventually i managed to accept it, i learned so much about myself, my weaknesses and how much ordinary i was, not at all perfect. Today i feel more or less balanced, I learnt to ask myself the right questions and have a conversation with myself every day before going to bed, I have a soul mate but I still haven't found true frienship but i think i can live without it because i also learnt to enjoy my own company.[/quote]


I am sure you feel much better now that you have accepted what happened. I personally believe that things happen for a reason, including 'betrayals" once we calm down and surrender to the experience we simply become wiser and you know what they say" What does not kill you. makes you stronger". Somehow I assumed that you were married Minniemouse. If that is the case then hopefully it helps you overcome loneliness and does not make it more acute.

Hi Shireen, thanks for submitting your thoughts on what i said. Yes as you said, I got over it now and i lead a totally new life, i feel like i've grown up in a positive way. Actually when i talked about being horrified at my mistakes, it wasn't at the mistakes as such but more at how disillusioned i was with myself and the sort of people i was surrounding myself with. We tend to think that we are safe and protected by our friends but the truth is that a lot try to be complaisant as much as they can, not because they don't love us or wish us bad but because they lack the courage to tell us the truth about ourselves, in case we get offended and break up the relationship, and that feels like a betrayal sometimes, in my case i felt used and fooled and that hurt me. But as you said and you're absolutely right, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and i think that i found my middle ground and i feel more positive and confident than i used to.

Dear Minniemouse,

You sound like someone who has done a lot of "self-analysis" and that in itself is admirable. You're also still a fairly young person and inshaallah the best is yet to come. It is so much better to go through this kind of things when we are young rather than the opposite.

Best wishes.

inchallah, thanks a lot Shireen

Hi

i m glad that Minniemouse could bring something good out of loneliness.

good luck to you

Thanks amir-jad, but it wasn't easy at all, it was hard and distressing and awful to bear at times..we are not born to be lonely, it's a concept as old as the world and everything from religion to philosophy to science agree on the fact that man is a sociable creature and can't live isolated. However, i do believe that solitude is good sometimes, when we get too immersed in everyday's life, we lose track of our spirits and don't have time to review our actions and the best way to do that is to take a break from all the buzz and the material things and take a good look in the mirror not to our faces but to our souls and trust me, you always see things that were hidden before