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Morocco # English board

منتدى المغرب و المغاربة حول العالم

this question is for my DEAR moroccans ,It seems like I can't find a solution or else just an explanation for it ...but Iam wondering is every guy like that ...plzzz guys answer me with full honesty and just forget the sneazy show off to impress somebody and the game of being the perfect guy!!!
In our daily life we meet new people every day,and girls particualrly ,and honestly we fantasize about things that we see even though we may be in relations... At the begining we'r the angels especially if the girl seems too hard to get ,but once she gets attracted and she gave up herself and she get USED to us,and I mean US moroccans ..we put her aside and we keep acting the role of being there,at the same time when we see an other girl we feel bad to let it go and we play the same game ...finally we end up hanging out with many at the same time and it gets harder by the fact that we r trying to keep up with everyone and selfish to loose anyone on the first hand and knowing that someone are really attracted and she wouldn't let go easy makes it a big big headache...
I just wanna from u guys ,because all my friends seemed to be like that ,even those who r old and married and they keep advicing u to get married and stuff ,when they see a beautiful girl u see their thurst and that they wish they can get her ...
Guys I know u feel what I mean eventhough these words couldn't reach perfectly what Iam trying to express...Even foreigners(dutch) in general, are telling me that all moroccans are cheaters (I honestly and to cirtain point bilieve it),but the funny things is that the one who told me this is still dating just moroccans and she ,herself turned into a cheater on her future husband but with who,with moroccans!!!

How we r gonna get married ..

sallam

Why do people have to play with emotions of other people? Are they not godfearing? I think cheating on others should deserves the death penalty! LOL (just joking) But I'm serious, why is playing with emotions such fun? Is it the adrenaline of getting caught? Why not wait till you fall in love with someone who deserves your love and attention? Why play games? Would you like it if your sister got played like that? Or your mother? Your niece? Aunt? I think not. So why play with other girls?

I think it has more to do with testosterone than being Moroccan. Every guy on the planet has the urge to jump everything on sight, only two things can keep that urge in check : your brain, if you're smart you realize the damage you can do to others far outweighs the pleasure, or when you really, and I mean really, fall in love, then you're immune.

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chelhman
I think it has more to do with testosterone than being Moroccan. Every guy on the planet has the urge to jump everything on sight, only two things can keep that urge in check : your brain, if you're smart you realize the damage you can do to others far outweighs the pleasure, or when you really, and I mean really, fall in love, then you're immune.

That's true. Cheating is mostly done by men. Which proofs that women are more rational then men.

Hi all,
you have pinpointed a very sensitive matter that us moroccans men and women have to deal with every single day of our lives. The way I see the problem is that there are two different perspectives, and to be completely objective about it, we must look into both.

Let's look at it from a woman's stand point. Girls just like any others in the world, want to look and feel beautiful and attractive, and for that they would wear trendy and sometimes VERY sexy clothes. My question is, if girls want to be attractive and therefore show off parts of their bodies, thighten up their tops, jeans and swirl their hips left and right as they walk, how could a guy not be taken away but that? Do you girls think this is logical? if you do then you are in contradiction with the very basic rules of human nature, that is Instinct.
If men behave such a manner that mismatches the rules of decent behaviour, that's because girls on the other side have so much fun messing with a man's instincts.


Now let's turn our heads to the other side of the fence, men hold their part of responsibility, Shooting at every girl or woman that passes by is another way of telling the world I'm a dog and I would bite whoever dares come to my encounter. and that is unfortunately the majority of moroccan men.

For me there is no such excuse for men trying to imagine every single girl or woman that passes by in bed, nor there will be for girls with butts sticking out from tight pants and half of their tits are pushing their way out, it is everyone's responsibility to behave correctly and respectfully to make Morocco a country where freedom and mutual respect are considered the most important values of our society.



Driss

hi all
truly its an important topic to hold a conversation about.i agree with the member called tifah about what they said.Cheating is mostly done by men .logical thats true . thats don't disown that women don't cheats too.we cheat maybe because in a part of our culture the man who keeps moving in relations between many women should be consedired as a hero at least in his friends mind.many times i"v heared friend of mine saying ( lwahed hwa li ytrigel 3lihoum.hit tystahlou)without giveing my self time to think before behave i jumped on him ( not inted to fight him)i tld him what if this girl is your sister.what if she is the one been betrayed by someone else.how you will act.will you protect your sister or take a seat and watch...he told me of cours i will go kill him if i got to know who is he.i felt bitterness then .how could he says he will kill someone will hurt his sister then even he keeps hurting other girls and cheats them.thats kind of ignorance and backwards.and there many many cases shows we are wrong at our dealing with women.girls too are responsible of this setuation as driss said in his comment they toke our minds and by the ways how they dressed up.buy the way how they walks and speak.we are not statue of clay to wath and react like nothing is going on they open us the doors to come in .taht too wrong in my poit of view but even its not excuse to keep cheating and invent stories about our real personalities and that we are angels and knights and hero till we get we want i mean having sex with them the throw them like nothing has happened like a kid who get enough playing with his game and want to get new one.im not going to change the world over and make it virtuous nor the other members .but its a step to talk about it and unmask the hiden things then im sure by the time we might find a solution to this phenomenon .(kama tadin todan).

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Let's look at it from a woman's stand point. Girls just like any others in the world, want to look and feel beautiful and attractive, and for that they would wear trendy and sometimes VERY sexy clothes. My question is, if girls want to be attractive and therefore show off parts of their bodies, thighten up their tops, jeans and swirl their hips left and right as they walk, how could a guy not be taken away but that? Do you girls think this is logical? if you do then you are in contradiction with the very basic rules of human nature, that is Instinct.
If men behave such a manner that mismatches the rules of decent behaviour, that's because girls on the other side have so much fun messing with a man's instincts.

Driss1, you said in your posting that women provoke men to cheat, because of the way many women dress. I find that a very weak and illogical excuse! It's the same like saying that women who got raped provoked it. Or with other words: they asked for it. That's not logical. You're trying to hard to find an excuse for that kind of behaviour and mostly blame the women for that, because (I quote) 'girls on the other side have so much fun messing with a man's instincts'. Do you really think these women do that deliberately? Think before you point your finger to the 'perpetrator'! The only one who is wrong here, are the men who can't control their (sexual) emotions. You proved it by sayinghow could a guy not be taken away by that'. Well, let me tell you that I know guys who can CONTROL their (sexual) emotions and are faithful to their wives/girlfriends. We women also have sexual yearnings, but we (mostly) don't act on it. Because you have to be rational and you have to know your standards and values! So don't blame the women, blame the cheaters in spite of their reasons. Cheating on your girl-/boyfriend is wrong and that's that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/22/2006 01:27 by Tifah.

hi everyone,

I know this topic is only for men but I just wanna say something that a lot of guys miss or not aware about it … many guys think they are betraying girls but many girls don’t feel victims and do sex because they like it……just like guys... I personally have had no bad experiences but I know a couple of Moroccan girls who had no problems regarding this matter…they did it because they have loved the guy and were not forced to it…. It was a part of their relation…later one of the girls married the same guy the second girl meet an other moroccan and had no problem with him…they married later as well …so guys it’s not always what it seems to be…..our people are changing slowly their mind….it could be real love between 2 people...and there are some guys who could really be in love with a girl...it is not always all about sex....however I agree with Guard-of-Heaven when he said "...how could he says he will kill someone will hurt his sister then even he keeps hurting other girls and cheats them..."...this is not only ignorance but defintly the lake of responsibility and respect for other people....

the only thing I can say is that those people who cheat lake in faith.
If they have faith in Allah Almighty swt they wont cheat.If they fear Allah they wont (or try not) to commit sins.
When a person fears Allah swt and keeps faith Allah swt gives him strengh and power to resist to temptation and control himself.
you(cheaters)dont fear Allah !!
May Allah guide you and forgive you!

Tifah,

I am afraid you got me all wrong I never said women should be blamed, I said the ones who love to mess with men's emotions, these are the ones to blame, and to clarify things a bit more, the girls or women who dress very very indecently, these are the ones my fingers of guilt are pointing to. Unless of course you think it's logical in a muslim country for a woman to dress half naked? Yet, blame is a lame excuse for not trying to tackle the problem in a more socially intellignet way. In other words, A man who's dignity comes first, will not be swept away by this bulk as he would rather see it as provocative, and he MUST NOT under any circumstances lack respsect to his vis-à-vis,a man of such appeal will never be carried away.

Women in our country have the freedom to wear, speak, live...just like any others in a so called democratic society, and I would be the first to condemn whoever dares jeaopardising these values, and I wil always fight injustice be it against men or women, so to bring to your attention that my matters have no lead whatsoever to any kind of freedom, and let's all remeber that we are muslims, and one of our duties of being as such is reciprocal respect.

I never evoked the question of rape or adultery, there's no question about the fact that these are crimes that must be punished and made indignat by all means.

Just take a walk on the streets and try to look at people's comportment being all objective about it, if you see no wrong about girls behaviours and manners of clothing and men and ONLY men are those who botch around, then you are probably living in some outer sphere far from the reality of Morocco.

As I said in my message, this is a very sensitive subject, if we want to find rasonable solutions for that we must cast aside our inner emotions of being Manhood or Womanhood, and try to use some intelligence and sense to converge to an effective and meaninful solution.

Last but not the least, talking and sharing ideas is what will make us a better population, open minded and ready to move forward, so please reply to message with as much criticism as you wish.

Thanks



Driss

Salam Driss,

It's not wise to dress half naked in a muslimcountry, unless you're on the beach. To tell you the truth I know Morocco only from what I see on tv, because my last visit was in 1998. And from that last visit all I can remember is that I've been treated disrespectful by Moroccan men. Since then I never went back. So I don't know how Moroccan women dress these days. It can't be that bad, can it?

I have to admit that some women don't really have boundaries in the way they dress. The cleavage is sometimes to low, uncovered belly's, miniskirts that barely cover their butts... Just to name a few ways of dressing that I disapprove with in my environment. That doesn't mean that these women dress like that deliberatly to seduce men or play with their emotions. Maybe they find it pretty to dress like that, so it doesn't mean that they dress like that to drive men crazy. Although I doubt that they're unaware of that! It could be that they simply don't care if they have that affect on men, aslong as they find it pretty. What is your understanding of sexy clothes? Because in your first posting you're talking about tight pants/tops. That's not what I call VERY sexy. That seems quite casual to me.

Tifah



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2006 09:59 by Tifah.

we always consedire woman as a stimulating and exciting symbol .nacked..dressed up or (labsa men hgir hdoum)as tifah said -uncovered belly's, miniskirts that barely cover their butts-..no one then could shackle his jawas and keep the spittle inside his mouth from not flowing out.especialy we are Suppressed sexual.guided by our sexual instinct .so no one of us ..<<i dispatch the speesh to men>>have to take that as motive to cheat girls and lie and use them..we form stories about how genteel we are..about our pure and meek souls .we take the opportunity that some girls are poor and we start make thier dreams comes true..i will get you all you want hbibti car..bankaccount..jewels ..clothes.bereaved of things can't give it..girls don't need cars or diamonds or bank account..they want true and pure love..they want to be treaten as queens.not use them as machines to satisfy our sex needs..im not saying i am against making love with the one you 're in love with..to make love its another way to love to express our feelings ..i wish to awke someday and hear diffrent news about love..i hope if i get the chance to have the magical stick so what ever i touch i could change then be sure i will change the way how treat girls especialy in our country..we need love to live and we need sex to keep continuation the human race .

Tifah,

since your last visit to Moroco, things have gotten really worse, maybe worse than you could ever imagine. My question to you is if these women known their dressings have such an effect on men, then what is respectful about dressing such a way? I personally see it as disrespectful not only to men but to the moroccan society as a whole. I always refer to tight jeans or pants or whatever as indecent clothing not as if tight jeans are somewhat indecent though that remains relative to the way it's been worn...anyway.

If you've been mistreated your last visit, you would not probably be treated any better nowadays, men still behave as badly as you have seen, what's worse is that girls are following the same path.

Of course there must be a solution to this problem, and to my opinion the only way to get around this in a peacefull way is to give girls more freedom to talk and condemn any sort of harrasement they may be victim to, and on the other side of that freedom sanction any misplaced behaviour including indecent dressing and the like, this is for me the only way out, but if we keep oppressing women we won't get anywhere but worsen things and compromise the very first value of democracy that is Freedom.

Driss1